A bit of a clarification on yesterday’s post, as admittedly, it did sound a lot more finalistic than I meant it to (however, I was in a very dark place, so, I attribute it to that… It will also point out that I did say for the foreseeable future, in my own defense, but that’s neither here nor there).
No, I’m not leaving tumblr permanently, but due to overwhelming circumstances in my life, I’m taking a big, long break, several months worth of down-time, at least. I found out yesterday that my father has cancer, most likely due to his 30 year employment with the city on NYC, not to mention the fact that he was a heavy smoker up into his 40s. It’s very much thrown my entire world into flux… I’m angry, depressed, beyond sad, an’ basically unable to function. They haven’t given him a timeline (“you have six months to live”, etc., etc.), but it’s forced me to realize how old my father is (he’s in his seventies), an’ his mortality, aside from the fact that him an’ I don’t have too terrifically much time together left, in the grand scheme of things. So, I’m feeling a bit terrible an’ morbid about things, which I hope you can understand… Not to mention that this isn’t even going into the crazy shit happening with my grandmother right now, an’ which I’m not even going to go into in this post, as I have no interest or desire. I want to get things straight in my life, an’ get myself back on the right track; if my father is going to die, I want him to die proud of me, not worrying about me an’ what I’m going to do without him. It’s time for me to take my life more seriously, go back to school, do what I need to do to improve myself.
So, I’ll be back sometime… I simply don’t know when, an’ it’s not going to be for a while. I have a lot of things to deal with, and a lot of things in life to come to terms with myself an’ my family. I’m not gone for good… don’t believe everything you read on Friar the fat-mouthed drama lion’s twitter page.
See you when I see you, an’ as I said in my last photo post, please take care of yourselves.